Fear and change...

It has been a while... Well a lot of things have happened since I last wrote. My roommate Kara just moved to San Diego. My other roommate Jenni just got engaged. Das was just in the hospital for an unexpected hip replacement. You could say that life is moving at a very fast pace lately. However I feel like it is happening all around me and I am standing still. I was telling some of the Mug n a Muffin ladies that I feel like a boulder in a stream. Everything is going on around me and all I am doing is getting hit by their changing life. I wanted an adventure. They were having ones, so why couldn't I? I didn't know what that adventure needed to be. (honestly I still don't) But while I am waiting my little mini adventure is ia am going to get back in shape. Scary! I have signed up for Farrels extreme body shaping and I am scared. First I am scared that I will get hurt. A totally legitimate fear I think. I mean three summers in a row on crutches will make anyone nervous. However the second one I know is complete malarkey. However, it is a fear I have. You see I have an issue with perfectionism (yes, I know that might be hard to believe, lol). But if I can't do something well I am afraid to do it at all. What happens if I fail? I know there isn't anything to fail at, and yet it is a fear I have none the less. I don't want to be enslaved to fear. But if I let it keep me from doing something, that is exactly the hold it has over me. So I claim the promise that the Lord has not given me a spirit of fear 2 Timothy 1:7. I am a slave to nothing but Christ alone. I willingly put myself under His rule and authority. If He wants this to happen I will obey. He has my best interest at heart and he will be with me, no matter the fear.