changes...

Today was a beautiful day. I had the windows open and let the breeze blow through the house. There is a change in the air. Spring has finally arrived.

This time of year also brings about other changes. A dear friend will be leaving the area to move to San Diego at the end of the month. Today after Mug N'a Muffin we had a "Celebrate Tomomi" party. It was a wonderful time of encouragement and fellowship. We grilled out and had some amazing food. Then took some time to brag on her in front of everyone. I don't believe that is was something that had ever happened to her before. She thinks too little of herself. So the opportunity to compliment her and let her know now much we have seen her grow in the past couple of years was, hopefully, encouraging. We were also able to add in some challenges when she moves. "Don't become a hermit." "Let people get to know you."

It got me thinking. Why are we so scared of people knowing the real us. I don't mean the happy smiling faces they see on Sunday mornings or Monday morning at work (after they have had their coffee). What are we afraid people will see?

Tomomi didn't want to get hurt so she holds herself away from people. It was about self preservation. Don't get too close because they will let you down or they will leave. I can understand where she is coming from. Especially living in such a transient community. New people coming in every year. They get their degree then go out into the "real world". My real world is here. If I don't grasp at the opportunities to make friends, if even for a short time, I won't have any around. IT makes it hard.

However, during our time of prayer over Tomomi the Lord really drove home with me that one day there won't be any goodbyes. Even if I don't see her again after she leaves later this month I will be able to rejoice with her in heaven. She is going to be dearly missed here in Iowa, but I am very excited to see what she does in San Diego.

Which leads me to the fact that one of my best friends is moving back to the area from Kansas City. YEAH! I helped them move into their temp apartment today. I am so excited for Missy and Joe to be back. I even get to FINALLY meet their boys. (About time!) But there is a change there to. When I first knew Missy she was a single gal that was serving the Lord at Grace and we would spend nights together just hanging out talking life. Now she has Joe and the boys with one more on the way. The way that I used to hang out with her has to change. (I am just totally excited to be able to hang out with her!) It will be awesome to get to know her again but it will be different and I need to keep reminding myself that.

Change is the ever constant. Nothing remains the same. Even though You are the same yesterday, today and forever, my understanding of You changes. The closer I grow to You the more I see how desperate I am for You. I see my sin and the way it pushes me from you. I want to change. I want the image of Your Son. I know it will be difficult and unpleasant at times when I am being refined by Your fire. But I want to change. I don't want to remain the same. I don't want my insecurities to push me from you. I want to truly believe You are able to meet my every need. Not just in knowing the words on an intellectual level, but experientially as well. I can not change on my own. Only You can change me. So Lord, teach me to be moldable clay in Your hands and renew my passoin for You and Your word.