Thursday of Thanksgiving

God has let the encouragement from the body of Christ roll this week.

I have received a couple of thank you cards in the mail in the past couple of days. Snail Mail! Gotta love it. They have been really encouraging. And both were about the woman's conference. Diane sent me one and she didn't even go to the conference. I had shared at our Faith Family about how I was just feeling under attack since sharing my testimony. Satan has really just been hitting me saying that I shared too much and that people are going to look at me differently. I received a card saying that she was sure that I had been used at the conference and just very kindly reminding me it wasn't about what others thought but what God thought of what I had shared.

Later this week I got a message from Facebook from Deb. She thanked me for being honest in my testimony and told me it was funny because she already saw me as a "beautiful woman of God even before the conference" Her message came to my inbox at work in two messages. The second part that started with funny came first before the previous letter. Here I am sitting at my desk at work reading my email with tears streaming down my face! Goodness!

The last thing was a letter I received today from Amy and her mom Laura. I have a lot of respect for this family. They are an amazing family of God and that is very evident in the family dynamics and just their interactions with everyone. Both Amy and Laura had portions of the card they wrote. Again I was thanked for being vulnerable and honest. It must really be counter-cultural to be transparent with people, because that seems to be the thing I am thanked for the most. Why are we so afraid to let people see the real us? It was hard to share my testimony but at the same time freeing! This who I am. A sinner saved by grace and very messed up in a lot of ways, but a work in progress with Jesus as my author. Maybe I will post my testimony... The only thing then is that it will be out there for the whole world to see... I guess I am not as transparent as I try to make out I am.

Thank you Jesus that my identity is in You and You alone. Thank you that there is nothing good in me apart from You. That takes a lot if the pressure off of me. I need to live according to you and you will do mighty works in and through me. Make me willing to be used by you.

Psalm 27

This morning I am reading through the Psalms and read 27 and 28. My faith family is reading through a Psalm a day and then discussing it. I went back to 27 because I missed reading it yesterday. These were the two verses that stuck out to me:

⁴ One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

The first verse is in an old Beautiful Feet CD and I memorized many moons ago. It always gave comfort and I have used it as a prayer before. The 14th verse I also know. But it is difficult wait.

I feel like I am in a waiting period right now and I am not exactly sure why. Things are going great. I am moving in a couple weeks into a new house. My job is going really well. I finally think I know who God has created me to be, a leader. I just got done with helping plan a great woman's retreat for Grace. Is it because I feel like all of these things are coming to a head and I don't know what the next step is? A friend last night put as her status she is tired of the same 'ol. Is that what my fear is? The same 'ol.

Lord, I don't know what the future holds, but You do. You don't desire for me to live a mundane life. You can transform the most mundane thing like folding laundry in to divine things. Please teach me that. Make the cry of my heart to ask only one thing, to gaze upon the beauty of Your face and to seek you above all else.

First Attempts

I have no idea what I am doing. However, that has never stopped me before.
I have just recently turned 30 and I have decided to take God at His word. In John 10:10 Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

What does a full life look like? What does it mean to have a heart like John the Baptizer and say "He must increase and I must decrease."? I don't really know. All I know is that I have tried to do it my way for 30 years. They have been a great 30 years, but I am tired of the same old boring life. You know the one I am talking about. Get up, get dress, go to work, come home, make supper and go to bed. I want my life to matter. I know the only way for that to occur is if I am letting my Savior Jesus lead that path.

I don't know where this experiment will take me. I don't know what He has planned. What I do know is that His word is true and it is about time I take Him at His word.

So here we go, Lord. You are the author and main character in this play called life. Teach me to be a supporting cast member that You have decided to use. Prepare me as the curtain is about to go up.