Sunday was invigorating, exhausting, overwhelming and melancholy. Today I see a culmination of all of those prayers and struggles with a very specific answer to prayer. (Sorry for being obtuse in the story telling, I don't want to give away who I am talking about)
To set the stage, I sang Sunday morning and as I am walking out after the music set I see an individual that is involved in a ministry I am also involved in crying. I stop to see what is wrong, take her from the sanctuary to the conference room and proceed to have a great time of prayer asking God to do some pretty big things. I had confidence that He could and would answer our prayers. I leave and get ready to go when the other person we were wrestling in prayer for is seen by me and another mutual ministry partner and I felt that intervention was needed. (This is not my natural response!) I go and grab the first lady out of the sanctuary and we have over an hour long "counseling" session between the two of them. I had NO idea what I was doing and was completely out of my comfort zone. I leave this session knowing I was way out of my depth and lacking training for dealing with these types of interpersonal counseling skills. I'll admit it, my faith that God would intervene to do big things was shaken. I should have known, when I am weak He is strong!
I get a call tonight that one of the very thing we were asking for during our time of prayer was answered! I hadn't heard anything since Sunday night so was getting a little down. Yet God (I love those words!)... Yet God, was not being silent but was actively moving! God answers prayers in powerful ways because He is a powerful God.
Even tonight, God is so gracious even when He is convicting me of my lack of faith! In the above situation but also I finally started the application process for the class I am taking this fall. Huge step of faith for me.
This class put on by the Simeon Trust will teach me how to teach every type of literature in the Bible, even prophecy. Yes, the thing I said I would never touch with a 10 foot pole. I am stepping out in faith but wondering where these steps are taking me. Is this just a nice little scenic detour or a different path for my future? I honestly have no idea! That is scary. l like to have things planned out. Of course I am sure the Lord laughs at my plans. I mean when have my plans ever worked out the way I thought they would? Answer: never.
So I am now walking down a path I don't know where it leads, reminded that I can pray big prayers because I serve a Big God and convicted that I lack faith. Well, God, I guess you have me right where you want me :) I believe, please help my unbelief.
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